Knots and forget-me-nots

For years I have kept jewelry in my change purse.  That is, jewelry that I take off when out and about and don't have a "proper" place to put it.  Never have I lost anything with that method of safe-keeping.  When I get home, I remove the ring or earrings or necklace and put it away where it belongs.  I did not do that this last time.  I forgot.  I remembered when my coins were falling out all over my purse because I had forgotten to zip the pocket.  Shining up at me was one diamond ear stud.  One.  Just one. 

Of course I emptied my purse.  Nothing.  Took everything out of my wallet.  Nothing.  Looked again and again at the coins in my coin purse.  Nothing.  All the while a knot developed in my stomach.

I get knots sometimes.  Usually when I am uncomfortable about a situation--speaking up in a crowd, facing an adversary, or failing at something.  Like when I fail to keep up with diamond earrings from my mother.  Knots don't let me forget.  I falter.  I fail.  I fear. 

It is deeply satisfying to untangle a knot.  We don't have much opportunity nowadays in this velcro world.  But there was a time when only a mother could remedy a knot in a shoelace or hair ribbon.  I suppose stomach knots are no different.  Wisdom herself speaks perspective and knots ravel.  This happened to me today.  I had one earring.  From my mother.  I lost the other one because of my failure.  But it was going to be fine.  This world is passing away, and that earring showed me that yet again.  I had one less tie to this condemned world.  Victory over a knot.

And there it was.  The lost earring.  Tucked into a fold outside my wallet.  It was barely visible.  But it shone nonetheless.  Of course it did.  And it does still.